Every year I run into a cast of characters while fishing on the Fraser River. It is more amplified during the cramped quarters of Sockeye season. Correct me if I am wrong or add to the list if I missed one!
1. The Bully. This dude is the one fighting on shore with another fisherman.
2. The Landlord. No matter how many people are fishing, or how few people are on the river, it is already “too many” for one additional person to wade into the river. Whenever you start walking into the river, the landlord will meet you with the obligatory “Hey my buddy is fishing there” or “Hey, I am fishing here.”
3. The Early Bird. It does not matter how early you get to the river, there are always people fishing before you arrive. And yes, they won’t be happy about your arrival as they were in the river first!
4. There is always one “conductor” or “maestro” per salmon bar. I refer to them as maestro because he is usually trying to conduct all the casts around his vicinity in order to avoid tangles, ironically he is the usually the one tangling everyone! He is the loudest, talks about how it was last year, and knows where all the “springs”(chinook) are, but can never catch them. Stay out of the way of the maestro!
5. Jerry Springer. You will see a fisherman continually think they have a spring on everytime he hooks into a sockeye.
6. The birdnester. It breaks my heart to see, but there will be one guy out there for the first time with his Abu Garcia reel. He won’t get in your way though, he will be on shore the whole time trying to unspool the loops in his reel. I feel bad for this guy. My advice is to practice in a soccer field before the season starts so you have a good handle on working the reel. Sockeye season is better spent pulling in fish than pulling out birds nest’s.
7. The shortcaster. This guy doesn’t understand why he is always catching other peoples lines. Cast a bit further. You will be alright.
8. The family man. Poor family is sitting on the shore behind fisher dad. Bored out of their skulls, just waiting to go home.
9. Jesus. This kind man spends his time looking for the elusive Chinook salmon after limiting out on Sockeye. However, the pesky sockeye will not stay off his line so he passes the rod of to other fishermen so they can get their quarry. In essence he multiplies his 2 salmon and feeds the rest of the fishermen on the bar.
10. The Chinook whisperer. This wise man knows where all the spring salmon hide out and has been on the river for every Chinook that has been caught of recent. He knows where the 50 pounders hang out, he just can’t quite get his line out far enough to catch him.
Bonus Submissions:
The Gear Guy. This dude looks like the model on the front of the Canadian Tire spring catalogue. He has got the latest waders, boots, tackle box, fishermans hat, and vest. The only problem is he has a junk rod & reel combo and catches no fish, despite bringing a net.
The Stoner. You will smell this skunk but will not see him.
The good guy. This is the fisherman we all should aspire to be. The good guy welcomes newcomers, gives tips on how to tie knots, and when to cast. The good guy moves out of the way when someone yells “fish on” and helps people untangle their snags.